Such a dilemma
When you’re done, you’re done. Thats easy for many who get divorced but others have a harder time with the changes that come as soon as the final papers are signed and recorded. Maybe the whole time together wasn’t so bad or maybe it was. Depends on the marriage really. But once the dust settles there are the sentimental things to deal with. Most people have separated their belongings and households early on in the process. That part is hard but its all stuff. Dishes, books, furniture. Its a much different feeling when you look down at your hand and see your wedding ring. That ring was the big symbol of your love and commitment for each other. Many of us had a special ring ceremony as part of our wedding service in a church. God and 250 of my closest friends saw me receive that ring as a symbol of a man’s love and affection for me. It was a big deal.
In my case God and those 250 close friends watched a man place a ring with a used diamond and an inexpensive setting on my finger. That set was later replaced by a much nicer gold wedding band and diamond solitaire ring. I was never crazy about the first set but the second set seemed special to me. When the split happened I was too upset about the overall loss of a life together to even think about the rings. I continued to wear them for a few months. I didn’t want the stigma of being divorced and alone to show so I pretended that everything was just fine by wearing the rings. Eventually, I decided to take them off. Beneath the thin gold bands of the engagement and wedding ring was a time worn callus; a ridge. It stayed there for years afterwards. Maybe as an outward reminder of the scar inside my heart. But now that finger was naked. For a while I wore another ring but later just went without anything.
Sell It For Cash
Many women decide to sell their rings along with other pieces of jewelry given to them by their former spouse. This can provide a little bit of cash when needed which might be a good thing depending on the situation. Keep in mind that even though you might have an appraisal in hand, the jeweler has to be able to resell your items. They won’t give you the appraised value. The offer won’t even be close to that. The wholesale value is much less. If you have an expensive ring set then it might be worth it. I was given an offer of $1750 for an $8000 ring. Not enough to make me part with it. I guess I wasn’t mad enough or desperate enough to take such a low amount.
Some people will have their wedding ring remade into a new piece that they can wear now. They’ll have the jeweler melt down the metal and restyle the old ring into a new ring, necklace or other item that they can enjoy. I chose to have my diamond reset into a round gold bezel setting that slides on a chain around my neck. I’ve always liked the diamond and now I can wear it without it being a ring.
Tuck It Away For Now
If the ring was an heirloom from a relative it might be nice to return it to the giver if they’re still living. If not then just tuck it away in a safe place until it can be given to someone else in the family. In the future a daughter or a nice might be thrilled to have it. Don’t worry about it being stigmatized or having bad luck attached. The main memory is from Grandma or Mom wearing it and enjoying it. Usually its a beautiful family story and the piece has a wonderful heritage that can continue with the next person who wears it. Hopefully they’ll have better luck with it than you did.
Throw It Away
This seems a bit irrational but trust me, it’s a common thing. Lots of women just throw the ring in the trash in a fit of rage. They want nothing to do with it and at the time this seems like a good thing to do. If you’re tempted to do this, please think again. There are things you can do to get rid of the ring besides wasting it.
Donate The Ring
There are many great charities that will accept your ring. They will give you a receipt for the value of your donation that can be used for tax purposes. The charity will sell the items and use the money for a great cause. It’s a win-win for everyone!
If you just cannot decide what to do with your wedding ring after divorce, it might be good to just put it away in the jewelry box for a while. Take it off and let the emotions calm down. At some point the anger and disappointment will fade. Then you can decide what to do when you’re in a better frame of mind. I tried my ring on years later. It felt so foreign and strange after the pain of the divorce had subsided. It had lost the familiar fit and feel. My ring finger had healed up just like my heart.
No matter what you decide to do with your rings you will feel much better after doing it! It is a big step in the move towards the next chapter of your life. Think of the excitement that awaits as you go through the steps to put yourself in a better place. It will feel so much better when you’ve made this huge emotional turning point. Now go step into your future!!